I am mentally drained. So much anxiety, and stress. I'm pulling myself 100 different ways, and in some senses I want to do each of them, and none of them. Some are compatible, some are not.
No matter what I do for now, none of these matter, not for a few years. So, somehow I have to try really hard to cope with my situation. I am stuck in it.
Part of me wants to just be at the end of the decade, get on with life, and have these next few years just be another bad memory, emotional scarring on my mind, and try to move on. But, obviously I must deal with now as best I can. The next 2-3 months will be the biggest struggle, in about 5 different ways. For the first time in, well, probably ever, I'm looking forward to the Summer. Only for the fact that I'll be passed this patch of shit.
It's hard to really enjoy much now, not like enjoying things has really been a huge part of my makeup, hah. There are the little things, the nights out, a movie, whatever it may be. But, sometimes it is just the bandage on top of the gaping stab wound of life.
Then there is the part of me that just wants to disappear, and let it all end, fading out hidden from view.
Who the fuck knows anymore.
No matter what I do for now, none of these matter, not for a few years. So, somehow I have to try really hard to cope with my situation. I am stuck in it.
Part of me wants to just be at the end of the decade, get on with life, and have these next few years just be another bad memory, emotional scarring on my mind, and try to move on. But, obviously I must deal with now as best I can. The next 2-3 months will be the biggest struggle, in about 5 different ways. For the first time in, well, probably ever, I'm looking forward to the Summer. Only for the fact that I'll be passed this patch of shit.
It's hard to really enjoy much now, not like enjoying things has really been a huge part of my makeup, hah. There are the little things, the nights out, a movie, whatever it may be. But, sometimes it is just the bandage on top of the gaping stab wound of life.
Then there is the part of me that just wants to disappear, and let it all end, fading out hidden from view.
Who the fuck knows anymore.
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