Now that it has been officially one month since leaving work, I've had time to reflect, look inside, think, dream, plan, all of that, to some extents.
It has been nice being able to keep to my own schedule, whether I have anything to do or not, it's been up to me, for the most part.
But, on the negative side of that coin, it has also left me with a lot of time, most would say too much time, on my hands. We all know my mind is a horrible, horrible beast.
I still have my Oregonian plans, the hopes, and excitement, to an extent. I say it that way, mostly, because I don't seem to really get "excited" anymore. Or haven't in some time. My feelings tend to betray me, and become twisted into dark things no one needs. But, out of everything I do feel, excitement just doesn't seem to come out to play anymore.
I have never been one to censor myself too much on here. I feel it's counter intuitive to write a journal, diary, blog, whatever you may, and then edit yourself for the sake of "oh no, someone might see it"
I tend to let people know I've written this, whether anyone reads it, or not, is up to them. I honestly don't know anyone who does read these. I think I've had one, or two people mention it before.
But I digress.
I think my main issue in life... with life, it lack of passion. In whatever way you can imagine. I am a passionate person, with no current release for it.
Which tends to lead me to a path of apathy. I want to care, I want to do this, or that, but, why? I tend to call it laziness, and it is, in part, due to the fact that I don't want to always bother to get up, and go do something alone. Which is what about 98% of my activities are. I'm a social creature, with social anxiety, and a general social awkwardness.
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