Two Paths, Many Forks

I seem to need to find a nice mix of the few things I love in life.

I love the quite, solace, beauty that nature gives us. The same nature that I an not see from home, because man has decimated so much of it.

Then, on the other hand, the life and world of professional wrestling. While I am not one, yet, if ever. I am in the world. I know plenty, and go to many shows to support those who are amazing.

The funny thing is, my life breaks down to these parts;

Work
Home
Nature/Hiking
Wrestling

Work, I feel unwanted, unneeded, just not necessary. I've felt that for a long time, for many, many reasons.

Home, I'm just money, and someone to bitch to. I get no real solace, ever, at home. The only time I look forward to being here is when I'm at work, or, when I need sleep. And even that last part seems like maybe a nap in the car, elsewhere would be nicer.

Hiking/Nature I have not been around it in about 3 months, but will fully immerse myself in it in a couple weeks. I love it, but, since I always adventure alone, it does lack the longevity of passing on stories, and experiences.

Now, we have wrestling. Here's where things get confusing. I have never been in good physical shape, not really athletic. So, to even think I'm training at all sounds ridiculous. But, I did, and I was good. Or so many have said. The people like me, and find me funny, and a good guy.

I go to shows, and I now know a handful of the wrestlers, and they know me. We converse, tell stories, etc. Even extended to Facebook, somewhat, and twitter almost completely.

I feel accepted by those in that world, and almost, dare I say, cared about? Don't mean that to sound sad, not meant that way. Just in a sense that I see people genuinely happy to see me, and want to say hi, and whatever it may be. I get that nowhere else.

So, how do I fix what needs to be? First, I have to find a better job. Something stable, and not as full of childish bullshit as I have now. I know, all jobs tend to suck, in one way or another. But, the amount of unprofessionalism that I/we deal with on a daily basis is uncalled for.

I feel that if I can find that magic job, that pays me at least what I make now, that maybe is a little more fun, or important. Plus the all important having nights available to train, would help wonders.

I need my life to start, as it's stalled in this mud puddle for par too long, and the leaches are killing me.