Life in the Now

So now that I am 3 weeks/4 classes into training, many things hit me, many times.

!. My body isn't in great shape, athletic wise. But, this I knew, hell, anyone who knows me knew that. I know it's holding me back some, which I am working on.

2. As much as I love it, and can't wait to make it on a show, I know the future ain't gonna be kind. If I keep it up, and go continually, by this time next year I imagine I can be on shows, and doing decently. Now, the making money part. Between working lame retail hours, and then trying to make enough of a name to get paid, in an arena that isn't known for paying overly generously. It can be somewhat demoralizing at times.

There are still many times, whether at training, on the way to/from, or just in general, I wish I would have moved instead. But, I know if I did that first, I'd always wonder "what if?" But, moreso on top of that, I wish I would have prepared myself for my great life adventure. Traveling the world.. just living day to day. That is still a possibility for the future, depending on how things go.. if I can get something resembling a real life started.

Who knows what the future holds. For now, I am doing what I can to make a go at this. I love it. I love watching it. The people in my class are amazing human beings, which I have a lack of in my day to day grind of life. Whether I make it or not, I am giving everything I physically can, even though I know in my heart it's not as much as it needs to be.