Thoughts....

Well, surprise surprise, another not so uppy post. If you're still reading by now, you just understand that I have a dark view of life.. especially my own.

So, I've been thinking lately, about life as usual, but, about love. I know this sounds stupid, but, sometimes you just have to air things out.

So, for a while now, if there was someone I was interested in, or, shit, if I saw a cute girl, my mind would eventually wander, as all men do, to romantic thoughts. At the very least, maybe imagine making out, whatever.

But, I'm at a point where I can't imagine that, and imagine the other party being all that into it. Just in general I do have a bad view of myself. While I know I am a great guy, etc... you still have to get passed the physical. Now, I'm no monster, but, I sure as hell wasn't gifted in any area. No full head of hair. No symmetrical face/looks, overweight. Etc. You know. So, it's almost like I couldn't imagine bothering someone who I've got eyes for.

But, on the flip side. In the last three years, as far as this area of life goes, I've been kicked in the gut so many times, I'm at a point where I'm not sure I can really open up to someone. Yes, I know you have to take that risk, no risk, no reward. but, I've just failed so miserably so many times lately... I just know how I can do it again.