I'd love to say things never change, but we all know things do. For better, or for worse. Worse, in my case.
Here I sit, a month after my 39th birthday, now with officially no real life, in person friends. Maybe it's for the best that any social meetings are so very few, and far between. I have really been down, and extremely hopeless for a few months now, with just a random flash of "hey this ain't shit" mixed in. But, when the best friend you have is someone purely talked through through text, having hung out once, for a couple hours, after almost a year.. .that's not a great sign.
So, beyond that, it seems as if my neighborhood is officially a piece of shit now. I'm not sure how it happened. Everywhere has annoyances, random dogs, loud cars, whatever it may be, from time to time.
Well, mine is not only daily, it's pretty much all of those daily, multiple times, and some constantly. Between the dog next door who has owners who seem to not give a shit that it'll bark for an hour every time a bee farts, to the influx of rice rockets, and wannabe fast and furious twats. It's really driving me up the wall.
So, add in the constant noise, plus the shit people who live here, plus no friends, sprinkle in the absence of desire to do anything. No passion, not even excitement about a show, concert, hell even movies in 99% of the cases nowadays. I'm really at a loss.
The next couple months will be a massive, stressful toll on me, as I've backed myself into a corner on some stuff I've needed to take care of, and I may screw myself out of life, or a future because of it. I am hopefully that maybe there will be a consideration towards me, and it'll all be done soon, and I can move on, and out, and away. Or just fade away, as I've become obsolete.
Here I sit, a month after my 39th birthday, now with officially no real life, in person friends. Maybe it's for the best that any social meetings are so very few, and far between. I have really been down, and extremely hopeless for a few months now, with just a random flash of "hey this ain't shit" mixed in. But, when the best friend you have is someone purely talked through through text, having hung out once, for a couple hours, after almost a year.. .that's not a great sign.
So, beyond that, it seems as if my neighborhood is officially a piece of shit now. I'm not sure how it happened. Everywhere has annoyances, random dogs, loud cars, whatever it may be, from time to time.
Well, mine is not only daily, it's pretty much all of those daily, multiple times, and some constantly. Between the dog next door who has owners who seem to not give a shit that it'll bark for an hour every time a bee farts, to the influx of rice rockets, and wannabe fast and furious twats. It's really driving me up the wall.
So, add in the constant noise, plus the shit people who live here, plus no friends, sprinkle in the absence of desire to do anything. No passion, not even excitement about a show, concert, hell even movies in 99% of the cases nowadays. I'm really at a loss.
The next couple months will be a massive, stressful toll on me, as I've backed myself into a corner on some stuff I've needed to take care of, and I may screw myself out of life, or a future because of it. I am hopefully that maybe there will be a consideration towards me, and it'll all be done soon, and I can move on, and out, and away. Or just fade away, as I've become obsolete.
